WW Contest Part 2 revised 26/jul/03
WONDER WOMAN: The Contest
Based loosely upon the story by William MessnerLoebs
and Mike Deodato Jr. featured in the Wonder Woman
comic book, issues #0, #90-#100. Now without any damn
DISCLAIMER: The following story is an adult-themed
parody of the Wonder Woman comic book. Wonder Woman
and all related characters are property, copyright
and trademark of DC Comics, an AOL Time Warner company.
No copyright infringement is intended. The author
received no payment for this story, and no money shall
be earned by its distribution.
WARNING: The following story contains adult themes
and explicit descriptions of extreme sexual events.
MINORS MUST NOT READ THIS. Many so-called adults
shouldn't, either. If you are below your country's
age of legal majority, kindly bugger off.
WONDER WOMAN: The Contest
PART TWO: TALKIN' 'BOUT T'BAD GIRLS
"I am your Queen! You dare to defy me?"
"I earned being Champion of Themyscira!" Princess
Diana protested, striding towards Queen Hippolyta's
throne. "You cannot take that away from me! If only
you would try to unders-"
"I understand your failures! Your promiscuity has
blinded you to your duties! Did you stop Circe from
trapping Themyscira in the realm of demons? No!"
Queen Hippolyta replied. "Were you dallying with
some filthy monster while your sisters perished?"
"NO!" Diana cried, her voice strained by barely
controlled emotions. "It took time, but I broke
Circe's spell!" she complained. "I freed
"Tell that to the dead," Hippolyta spat. "An Amazon
with a clearer sense of purpose would have worked
harder, and succedeed sooner." Rising from her throne,
the Queen walked towards the chamber's doors, with
"Mother, please," Diana pleaded, rushing towards the
Queen. "This is absurd and you know it! The gods
gave me gifts of power, yet even I am tasked by the
challenges I face daily. How can someone without them
fulfill my duty?"
"Brute power is never as important as skill, wisdom,
and purity of resolve. Your sins made you akin man,
relying on might instead of right, strength of the
flesh instead of that of the spirit. That is why
you are unworthy. That is why you are no longer our
Champion," concluded Hippolyta, and turning her back
on her daughter, walked out.
Diana stood mute, feeling empty, drained of all fury,
indignation or shame. Never before had she realized
how much her mother's support meant, how much she
depended on it. She now felt cut adrift in the
expanse of her own doubts and regrets.
Speaking in nervous, hushed tones, the members of the
Amazon Council followed their Queen, exiting the
chamber. Diana stood perfectly still in their wake,
painfully aware of their conscious avoidance of all
eye contact. Did they all think her tainted beyond
Diana had always known her mother and fellow Amazons
would surely frown at much of her sexual behavior.
The goddesses of Olympus had created the Amazons as
an alternative to the violent male-dominated cultures
of the ancient world, reincarnating selected
individuals to form an unique race of women warriors
opposing the dogma of male domination. All Amazons
had once been victims of male abuse, and this had
shaped their philosophies. That their chosen Champion
had intimated sexually with those they would call
enemies had to be a blow against all they held dear,
whatever the reasons, so she had chosen to keep such
things to herself. Yet she had never thought that
their condemnation could be so absolute, that they
all, including her mother, could actually come to
"Princess," a voice said behind her.
"Phillipus," Diana said, turning around to face the
Amazon general's stern expression. "Do you also find
me unfit for the role of Champion?"
"I am not here to judge you, Princess."
"I was condemned from the very start," Diana said,
her eyes red with more than only anger. "No matter
what I said, I was clearly already convicted. My
Mother had already set all this up to punish me!
"I will not judge our Queen, either," Philipus
answered dryly, lowering her gaze. "Or question her
motives. I must carry out her orders, even if it
"What orders?" Diana asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Your-The Wonder Woman garb, I must ask you to take
it off now, and relinquish it to me. And not wear it
Princess Diana stormed out of Council building,
wearing nothing but bracelets, tiara and the anger
expressed on her countenance.
"You wish not to be treated as a child?" Phillipus
hissed, her hand grabbing Diana's arm as she caught
up with the Princess. "Then stop acting like one."
Diana stopped, and turned, her eyes still burning
with silent fury.
"Such tantrums are unlike you, Princess. Anger can
sometimes be an useful tool, but it is always a bad
"Anger is all I have now."
"So you think," Phillipus said, pushing a bundle of
plain white clothing and a pair of sandals onto
Diana's hands. "But you are still an Amazon."
Diana frowned, her eyes searching Phillipus's.
"And all Amazons were called to participate in the
new Contest," Phillipus whispered, before turning and
Diana beamed, and ran to hug the two women before her
with unrestrained delight.
"It has been a long time, Princess," Eurydice said.
"Oh, yes. Way too long," Mala added, her eyes
sparkling with the perennial amusement that was hers
alone. "We have all missed you. Terribly."
"I've missed you, too, Sisters," Diana said, smiling.
They were perhaps her closest friends among all the
Amazons. Mala, small and slender, wore her curly
blonde hair long, and full of adornments, while the
tall and broad-shouldered Eurydice, had her shiny dark
hair braided close to her head, her muscular legs
bare, set apart on the ground with stolid resolution,
"You have lost weight," Eurydice observed, frowning.
"Have you been sick?"
Diana shook her head, smiling. She had forgotten how
much she loved the way they fussed over her.
"She just lost some baby fat, silly. Diana is no
longer the child she once was," Mala said, her hands
moving constantly while speaking, fingers fluttering
with their own particular eloquence, before reaching
to brush Diana's cheek. "You have indeed grown into
womanhood, Diana. You know, it never ceases to amaze
me, seeing you change, while we all remain still.
Sometimes I feel like only you are truly alive here."
"She's too thin," Eurydice insisted. "Have those
brutes in Patriarch's World not fed you properly?"
"Oh, she looks fleshy enough for my taste," Mala said
with a smile and a wicked glint in her eyes, glancing
with deliberate obviousness at the fullness of Diana's
bosom under her thin tunic. "And I'd bet that she
has been getting whatever that she wants from those
brutes you mentioned."
Diana's smile faded, while Eurydice's elbow dug
sharply into Mala's ribs.
"Is there some problem, Princess?"
"You haven't heard?" Diana asked with a mirthless grin.
"I thought the gossip would have spread by now."
"IS THAT THE SLUT?" a voice interrupted, calling out
from somewhere behind the Princess.
Diana turned, breathing deeply.
"Dia-!" Eurydice began to cry out, before Diana's
hand snatched at the air with astonishing speed.
"-Na..." the stunned woman completed. In the
Princess's hand, inches away from her face, was a
Diana frowned, her eyes looking hard at the group of
women standing on the other side of the clearing.
One of them, a tall, slender redhead, was lowering a
bow, and a full quiver was at her waist.
"ARTEMIS! YOU BITCH!" yelled Eurydice, striding
towards the woman and her companions. "That was
going too far! How dare you?"
"Eurydice, please," Diana said softly, her voice
defusing her friend's anger without conscious effort,
as she too walked towards the group. "I think we
have not been introduced."
"I can do my own introductions," the redheaded archer
said, stepping forward with the easy grace of a dancer.
She spoke the Amazon dialect with a peculiar musical
accent. "I'm Artemis. And I guess we just saw the
famous speed of Hermes you hear so much about, so you
must be the oh-so-wonderful Princess these cows speak
about so reverently, all the damn time."
"I suppose I am," Diana answered with a smile,
looking at Artemis with interest, and ignoring her
clear belligerence. Up close the woman was younger
than what she had seemed at first, her face's youth
tempered by strong lines of character. She was tall,
as tall as Diana herself, but of wirier build, with
long, gracefully muscled legs, and the extraordinary
length of her flowing ponytail of flame-red hair
falling well below her firm buttocks emphasized the
elegance of her slender frame.
Diana though she had not seen such a beautiful woman
"I believe this is yours," Diana said, offering the
arrow in her hand.
"Yes," Artemis replied, taking it nonchalantly, her
deep green eyes not leaving Diana's.
"You must be careful not to lose them," Diana said,
her inflexion having just the right amounts of
courtesy and challenge.
"Yes. Many people should be careful," Artemis spat
irritably, before turning around and walking away, her
companions in tow.
"Insolent cunts," Euridyce muttered, her hands still
bunched into fists. "Daring to threaten the Princess!"
"A millenia without social friction was clearly too
much luck," Mala commented, shrugging. "Human nature
is finally catching up with us."
"The taint of Patriarch's World is what has befallen
us," Eurydice replied, making Diana wince at the
choice of words.
"As you can see, Diana," Mala said. "Our 'adopted
sisters' of Bana-Migdhall hardly resulted a smooth
addition to our culture."
Diana nodded, thoughtfully. While the Themiscyrans,
endowed with the Olympian gift of longevity, had spent
centuries in isolation, sheltered from outside change
in their hidden island, the splinter Amazon tribe of
Bana-Migdhall, had remained in the changing world of
Man, since the time of The Betrayal, evolving into a
militaristy matriarchy that had survived the turmoils
of countless middle-Eastern wars by becoming highly
When the two Amazon lines had met, war had resulted.
The Bana-Migdhallans had resented the apparent
privileges of the unaging Themyscirans, and this had
allowed the evil sorceress Circe to manipulate them
into serving her schemes, turning Amazon against
"Kin-slayers, all of them," Eurydice spat. "They're
like snakes underfoot, awaiting for the first misstep
to bite. We should have sent them out to sea, to
drown, every single rotten one of them, as punishment
for their betrayal, their spilling of Amazon blood."
"Circe misled them, Eurydice," Diana said, frowning.
She had not thought the situation would grow so tense
in her absence. "It is understandable that they would
envy the apparent boons of Themiscyra, having seen
none of the past hardships. But when Circe showed her
true face, they did lay aside their grievances to aid
"To save their skins, more likely!"
"We must heal the wounds, not open them."
"Some limbs are best cut off," Euridyce muttered. "Or
the whole will fester."
"Oh, ignore Eury's gripes, Diana," Mala said, with a
playful smile. "All these centuries of having only
a sword pommel for satisfaction are getting to her."
"I bet you have a million things to tell us about your
stay in Patriarch's World," Mala continued, her nimble
feet taking her behind Diana in one fluid motion, to
avoid Eurydice's grasp. "Perhaps some tales about the
long-forgotten joys of hard masculinity would help
"I have many such things to tell, indeed, " Diana
sighed. "That is in fact the problem."
"She's fast, I told you," the sunken-eyed, older one
said in the dialect of Bana-Migdhall. "I saw her
fight once. She's stronger than what any of you can
"Magic," Artemis said, spitting after the word. "The
same damned advantages all these cows always had."
She winced, remembering family and friends dying from
the ravages of disease, poverty, and old age, all
while the immortal Themiscyrans delighted in their
hidden unchanging world.
"That's all she has, I bet," the heavily-muscled one
said, with a grimace of disdain. "With that delicate
smooth skin, and those fat melons on her chest, she
looks more like one of those American movie sluts,
than a proper warrior!"
"Do not underestimate her, Melenae," Artemis warned.
"Overconfidence is dangerous."
"She is has big breasts, yes, but she looked pretty
hard to me," the short blonde said, thoughtfully.
"There were muscles under all those curves."
"Must be implants," the brunette said. "No way those
tits are real. Some ribs taken off, too, surely."
Melenae scoffed. "The kinds of butchery that some
women endure, in order to please men!"
"Not that the things she fucked would've noticed!"
"I heard she spent more time on her back than on her
feet!," the fifth woman added, sparking loud laughter.
"That prissy uptight chick can't have done all the
fucking around they say she did," Artemis cut in.
"Wouldn't surprise me," Melenae said. "The way she
struts around, in those garish colors, her fat boobs
half hanging out like a cheap whore, she's basically
begging to be men's toy. Why else would that bitch
Hippolyta strip the Champion title from her own
"Who cares?" Artemis said. "This is the chance to
gain the power and influence we deserve, to get what
was denied us for so long. And no little glamour
girl is going to stop us."
"By Aphrodite! You certainly were busy!"
"Mala...," Eurydice reprimanded, red-faced.
"But it wasn't that many," Diana protested. "I must
have turned down at least a dozen opportunities for
each one I did accept!"
"Oh, you have a stronger will than mine, for sure!"
Mala said, reclining back on her couch, her eyes
sparkling. "If they half resembled that beautiful
dark-haired one in the red cape with the wide, wide
shoulders, I could never, ever, say no! Oh, what
I would have done with one like him in the old days-"
"-Or what I wouldn't have done!"
"If only my mother thought like you, Mala," Diana
said, lowering her eyes.
"Mothers never approve of their daughter's affairs.
Mine never did," Mala offered.
"From what I remember, she was usually right,
however," Eurydice added.
"I never expected approval. Or course I realize that
my sex life has been unconventional, but I would never
indulge in anything, sexual or not, that would hinder
or oppose my duties. What happens while carrying out
my mission isn't because of frivolous whims. I do
whatever I have to do, to the best of my abilities
and wits. Why can't she trust my judgement?"
"You know the Queen," Eurydice said. "She was always
overprotective of you."
"We all were, before you kicked our asses in the
Contest," Mala added, smiling. "But it's different
for the Queen. She'll always see you as her little
girl. And...well, even I was disturbed by some of
what you told us."
"I know. But her reactions are completely out of
proportion. Hera, of course some of the sex I had
was unorthodox or dangerous or both, but so was
everything else in most the tasks I've faced. Why
single the sex out?"
"Did you love them?" Eurydice asked, a hint of
conflicted emotions in her voice. "Those...men that
you were involved with?"
"Mostly it was just sex. I...did feel very deeply at
times," Diana said, thoughtfully. "But I doubt it
could truly be called love. At least not what I think
love should be. There was one who I..." Diana's eyes
closed, lost momentarily in her recollections. "But
it did not work out."
"Was it any good at least?" Mala asked with a wicked
gleam in her eyes. "The sex?"
"Well, yes. Some more than others. But you know,
it's said in Man's World that even bad sex is still
"Bet a man came up with that," Eurydice muttered,
making both Mala and Diana laugh. "Either you have
been very lucky, Diana, or men have improved a lot
in the last few centuries."
"Maybe she just has very low standards," Mala said,
placing her head on Eurydice's lap.
"Or truly bad taste," Eurydice contributed, smiling
herself, letting her hands run through Mala's golden
"Ah, the slobs I slept with, back in my day..." Mala
said, ending with a large sigh. "Useless, all of
them. Even those who did bathe from time to time."
"If it had been up to men, I'd still be wondering
what an orgasm was."
"Maybe I'm just not hard to please," Diana sighed.
"I think almost every instance of sex I've known had
some measure of physical satisfaction. I often
wonder why it is so different for everyone else."
"Even when-?" Eurydice began uneasily. "When it
involved those...enemies of whom you spoke?"
Diana shrugged. "Sexual performance doesn't depend
on morality. A foe can be evil, dangerous, even
hateful, and still prove a capable partner, being
well-gifted in skill or... other attributes."
"Really?" asked Mala, eyes sparking with playful
curiosity, as she slid to the floor, reclining by
the corner of Diana's couch. "How well-gifted are
you talking about?"
"But weren't these evil men? Who would as likely
have harmed or killed you?"
"Some were indeed despicable beings, warped by greed
or madness, that I would have never taken as lovers
without powerful reasons. But if the greater good
sometimes made such sex necessary, and I had chosen
to accept it, why not make the most out it? We are
taught to go with the flow of combat, are we not?"
"Ah! That would truly shock Phillipus!" Mala
laughed. "Now, how well-equiped were-?"
"But allowing the enemy such...advantages is far too
dangerous!" Eurydice protested. "You could've been
"And how is that different from regular combat? Any
warrior must face danger, Eury," Diana explained.
"Of course, most such sex was by necessity limited.
There are levels of intimacy, of physical and mental
abandon, which you can't reach in casual sex, much
less with someone you may despise or distrust, but
the opposite can also be true. There's are aspects
of primal, almost atavistic excitement, which arise
only during situations of the most demanding physical
activity or extreme danger, as you know."
Eurydice looked down, embarrassed. "Yes, I do."
"It can be a bit unsettling, sure, but it certainly
make sex quite memorable."
"Ah! Not only do you go and have all kinds of sex
with men in Patriarch's World, now it turns out you
two have past mischief to which I was never invited?"
Mala exclaimed with mock indignation, kneeling before
Diana with her fists at her hips.
"Why, hardly ALL kinds of sex," Diana protested,
leaning forward on the couch, her long legs angled
against the mosaic floor. "I have experimented a
fair ammount, but the extremes some men go to can be
"I can think of a lot, mind you," Mala quipped.
"Yet despite what my mother believes, I've always
preserved my self-respect, and our Amazon ideals,
even if exploring variations with men, or other male
"Other male beings?" Mala asked, raising an eyebrow
"So some of your lovers, were indeed not, ah, really
men at all? I mean, not as in female, but like..."
Eurydice began, her face reddening as she failed
miserably in her attempt at tact.
"There are more beings between the heavens and Earth
than can be accounted for, even in our Pantheons,"
Diana said, smiling at the paraphrasing. "Multiple
sentient races populate other worlds and realms."
"So you had sex with creatures not of this Earth?"
"And you enjoyed it?"
"I don't think I could have sex with something truly
alien, like the demons we fought," Eurydice said
with a shudder. "Men were repulsive enough for me!"
"Most sentients resemble the human race. Many who
have strange shapes, still share similar natures.
No better and no worse than man," Diana explained,
thinking about the wide range of non-earthlings she
had met, from Kal-El himself to J'onn J'onzz, whose
true shape she still wondered about. "Ultimately,
there are little differences."
"But how were the...acts themselves accomplished?"
Mala asked, her voice hinting at excited curiosity.
"Surprisingly, it seems there's an universal pattern
in the physical processes involved," Diana said.
"What still baffles me is the desire itself. I mean,
even among the mostly humanoid species, the aesthetic
preferences should have been very different, so why
have any carnal interest in my body at all?"
"Princess, you could make even a plant or stone get
interested," Mala said with a mischevous grin,
sliding closer to Diana, and leaning against her
legs, pressing cheek and breast to the smooth bare
"Oh, please!" Diana said, embarrassed, with a small
hint of unease at a fleeting memory. "Now, given
their partial Earthly origins, I could understand
such atittudes among the denizens of Tartarus, but-"
"Tartarus?" Eurydice asked, startled.
"You had sex while in Tartarus?" Mala asked, rising
"Oh, yes," Diana said, feeling her face grow warm.
"Thankfully, it seems that Megala's magic did not
pierce the barriers between realms, or-"
"But I thought Tartarus was inhabited only by beasts
"Well," Diana explained, blushing quite evidently now.
"Some were somewhat different from normal men, even
part beast, but-"
"Hera!" Eurydice exclaimed.
"Part beast? Really? How much?" Mala asked in awed
tones, as she questiongly placed a hand on Diana's
bare knee, and pressed herself tighter to her legs.
"But they were mostly sentient beings, whatever their
shapes. Some even had Olympian blood, too. And they
all had feelings. Fears and hates, hopes and desires..."
"Oh, am I sure they desired you!" Mala exclaimed,
her hands sliding over Diana's calves. "Beauty such
as yours among their kind! You must have driven them
insane with lust!"
"But how could you actually do it-?" Eurydice asked
with a shudder. "Were they not grotesque? Inhuman?"
"Oh, many were quite... attractive in their own way,"
Dina said, smiling shyly. "But even some who at first
I'd thought completely unappealing resulted great
lovers. Despite my initial reluctance, the physical
differences actually made the sex more challenging
and memorable. Some things are much more important
than mere appearance."
"Like in having enough of what really counts, where it
matters most, right?" Mala asked, with a wicked glint
in her eyes, her hands caressing the sides of Diana's
"Well, yes," Diana admitted with a shy smile, biting
her lower lip slightly. "I do find that aspect quite
arousing in males, and most of my Tartarus lovers were
indeed very well...built."
"Oh, how much?" Mala asked, her hands boldly moving
below the hem of Diana's short skirt, caressing the
soft flesh underneath.
"Gods, extremely so," Diana said, closing her eyes
momentarily and sighing softly as she shifted her
legs in response to Mala's touch. "Some, like the
Minotaur, seemed an anatomical impossibility at first!"
"The Minotaur?" Mala gasped.
"But it was exciting to discover otherwise!"
"You fucked a Minotaur?" Mala asked, her mouth open
in a mixture of horror and fascination.
"Gods! And you wonder why Hippolyta is mad at you?"
Eurydice muttered in disbelief.
"You weren't hurt, were you?" Mala asked with true
concern in her voice.
"Oh, I could handle it," Diana replied, her eyes
sparkling. "But just barely! I don't mind some pain
at first in sex, but I did learn a lot about my
sexual limits. It was very educational."
"By Aphrodite, I can guess so!" Mala exclaimed, her
hands growing more daring even as she spoke. "Satyrs
or fauns can also still be found in Tartarus, right?
And centaurs! And-"
"Now, I did not get intimate with every single being
I met there!" Diana protested, red-faced. "After
all, my whole quest in Tartarus was born of refusing
to become Lord Zeus' concubine, so I was hardly there
seeking lovers, you know! Yet-"
"Yet you found them!" Eurydice cut in. "You spurned
the attentions of a god, and then fucked creatures
that were almost like animals!"
"At least an animal's intentions are honest, unlike
those of some gods," Diana stated, her brow
furrowing as her smile vanished. "I have had sex
with gods, Eury."
"You have?" Mala asked, surprised. "Olympians?
"And I have also mated with actual animals, both in
Tartarus and elsewhere-"
"YOU HAVE? What ki-?"
"And but for a few exceptions, I'd rather repeat the
last than the former," Diana said with a grimace of
obvious disgust. "Anything I did in Tartarus was
preferrable to becoming a slave to their whims."
"Who did you have?"
"I am proud to serve Olympus, but we must not worship
blindly, and we must never become slaves, whether of
men or gods. Fulfilling the Olympians' challenge, I
also proved that I had the right to choose whoe I
wanted in my bed, be it man or beast. I regret having
endangered Themiscyra, but there was much more at stake
than just casual sex. I had to earn Zeus's respect.
For myself and for our people."
"I did not mean to chastise you, Princess," Eurydice
muttered, lowering her eyes.
"And believe me, Eury, sex with a god of Olympus is
not necessarily better than sex with a monster or
animal," Diana added, smiling again. "Some of those
in Tartarus could certainly have taught many Olympians
a thing or two."
"Well, Princess," Mala whispered, as her fingerstips
tauntingly caressing the soft skin of Diana's inner
thighs, before withdrawing with theatrical slowness.
"I suppose that after such astouding experiences,
delighting in the powerful, virile embraces of all
manners of gods, men and beasts, surely the prospect
of mere amazons in your bed is just boring?"
"OH, JUST SHUT UP AND COME HERE!"
"Banning the Bana-Migdhallans from the Contest will
only increase their resentment, my Queen. I would
certainly advise against such a thing."
"You are the one who distrusted my Sister's people
the most, Phillipus," Hippolyta stated. "Why the
change in heart?"
"I still don't trust them, but they are Amazons.
All Amazons should be free to participate, or the
Contest is meaningless," Phillipus replied, her
voice unwavering despite the reserve in her eyes.
"Antiope's brood turned against us, spilled the
blood of our sisters. We should not forget that,"
Hippolyta said, grimly.
"We should not give them excuses to justify their
Hippolyta sat down on a cushioned divan, her eyes
closed, grimacing as she stiffly moved her head
from side to side. "Your queen could use some
comforting, instead of further disent, general."
"My duty is to give what My Queen needs, not
what she wants."
"There are things I need more now," Hippolyta
Phillipus nodded, taking off her robe, but her
eyes were still troubled.
The night was cool and clear. The cloud formations
that shielded Themyscira's skies were everpresent in
the distance, but above the city, the stars shone
unobstructed. A soft wind moved both the abundant
foilage in the gardens and the long locks of Princess
"You should be sleeping," Mala said softly, watching
Diana from the door to the balcony.
"Should I?" Diana replied, still staring at the
"After all you did, you certainly should! Hera!
I'll call Phillipus's workouts child's play from
"So now you complain?" Diana asked as she turned
to face her friend, her smile somehow even more
fetching than her unclothed figure.
"You are entering the new Contest tomorrow," Mala
said. It was not a question.
"The Queen will hardly like it."
Diana shrugged. "My Mother doesn't like many things."
"So you did it on purpose," Mala said, shaking her
head, while pulling her robe tighter around herself.
"I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week, much
less run! You just didn't want any serious
Impossible as it seemed, Diana's smile grew brighter.
"Must I work harder to ensure it?"
"Gods, no! Let me live, at least for tonight!"
Mala cried out in mock terror. "Now come in, or
at least put on something. The statues are getting
TO BE CONTINUED
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